The time with family at home has been a good recalibration of what truly matters.
The phrase "family first" isn't something I really understood until I had kids of my own.
Growing up, I saw my parents put themselves first - we'd skip out on important family milestones for others, staying home while the rest of the extended family attended a wedding, graduation or reunion. Inevitably, it led to disagreements and rifts with other family members, which just spiraled into even further selfish and divisive behavior. I grew up thinking that was normal.
I saw them outsource their personal value to their managers, co-workers, their neighbors...they cared more about how the sales associate treated them than how their own sibling saw them. And in my own way, I internalized that social dynamic as being normal. I put a disproportionate value on what others thought of me, and this morphed into "people pleasing" behavior through childhood into early adulthood. I was, and still am, super sensitive to what people say or do.
Which is funny, because my daughter Dove right now is probably the exact opposite of how I was as a child - she is incredibly stubborn, confident, barely listens to others and moves through life haphazardly. I mention all this with a smile on my face. Obviously much of this can be attributed to just growing up. She's just a kid. But I'd also like to think that there is a solid foundation that she stands on - one that is invisible and unsaid - that she knows we have her back no matter what. "Family first." I do have her back no matter what. No matter what. She is supremely loved.
Having her home for 2 weeks for her Christmas break has reminded me of this. I have a duty to recalibrate back to what matters. The only people that will have my back. My family - my wife and children.
This doesn't mean I'm going to be terrible to everyone else - but it does mean I need to shift my priority lens. How will this affect my family? Will this opportunity help or hurt my family? Is this new friendship / work opportunity / goal aligned with my family values? I need to put the phrase "family first" into action.
A successful 2026 won't be measured by how much money we make, how many marathons I run or how many new business connections I make. It will be defined by how many times I choose to stay home instead of go out, by giving the best version of myself to those who deserve it the most.